Thursday, December 30, 2010

The distorted reality of blogland

Sometimes I think about taking an internet break or at least a facebook/blog reading break. The reason I consider this is because the way life can appear out in blogland or from facebook updates can be so discouraging. I notice that when I read too much stuff online, I can tend to feel a little down. It can make me feel like I'm just not good enough...... My house isn't as clean, I'm not as thin, I'm not as organized, I'm not as fun, or creative or funny and the list could go on and on.

However, I think we all need to remember that people don't usually write about the fight they just had with their husband or the messy tupperware cupboard that no one sees. We (myself included) like to write about the positive things. I need not let all the stuff I read get me down because, it's not the whole picture of reality.


So, in case I've ever made anyone else feel less significant, I'd like to set the record straight with just how imperfect I am!


~I'm not as organized as I wish I was.
~I love being a stay at home mom but, sometimes I miss my old job, a lot.
~My marriage isn't perfect.
~When I'm just home during the day with Judah and Paisley, I often spend the day looking like I just rolled out of bed.
~I don't read my Bible as much as I should or pray enough but, I'm working on it.
~I stress out about little things that don't really matter.
And SO many more things!!!!

On a positive note....here is a picture of a little girl that to me is just perfect!

Monday, December 27, 2010

A quick ramble over coffee

Our Christmas weekend was wonderful but, I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I should have. Judah loved opening his presents and he is entertained this morning playing with his new toys, specifically his new tractor that I found at the Farmer Supply store. We spent good time with Jeremiah's family on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning, we did Christmas at home, just as a family and I baked the Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls for us. Delicious!


Christmas afternoon we went over to my sister's house and did Christmas with all of my family. I learned that as much fun as Christmas is for little people, it can also be a little challenging for them. Having to share toys, being away from home during naptime, lots of people, sugar, oh my! I think Judah did really well though and I know he had fun.


Yesterday morning we stayed home from church and just stayed in our PJ's. I started sorting through old toys and organizing Judah and Paisley's rooms. I don't like when there's stuff that needs to be put away and things that need a "home" so, I started working on cleaning our house up from Christmas. I pulled the bassinet out of Paisley's room and had Jeremiah put it in the garage. It's SAD to have the bassinet back in the garage. It means that our Baby #2 is already getting bigger. Paisley now sleeps in her crib and not in the bassinet in her room. She is getting older and the bassinet is back in storage for when we have another tiny baby (not anytime soon!).

Yesterday afternoon I headed out to snag some Christmas decorations that are on clearance. I love having a few new things to put on the tree each year but, I don't love full price so, I go out after Christmas and see what I can find for at least 50% off. I found a few fun things and then I headed home because it was windy and cold and I had Paisley with me.

This morning I woke up not feeling well. I think all the late nights that I pulled getting ready for Christmas are catching up with me. I don't want to be sick. I feel like I have a lot to do. Our house seems messy to me from all the Christmas stuff. I go to see the midwife today for my 6 week postpartum appointment, even though it's been 9 weeks. I don't like that I have to get weighed after the Christmas weekend because I ate WAY too many sweets. I'm ready to get really serious about loosing this dang baby weight.

I'm looking forward to taking all the Christmas stuff down and starting a new year. I think 2011 is going to be a great year. I'm thinking about my "resolutions". Do you have any New Year's Resolutions?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Paisley Rae is 2 months

Paisley,
Yesterday you were 2 months old! I can't believe that it has already been 2 months since the amazing day that you were born. The day you were born was one of the very best days of my life! You have turned into such a happy, smiley, content baby. For awhile there, you were pretty fussy in the evenings and it was hard but, you are so much more content now. You love to look at us and smile and "talk". You say all sorts of cute baby sounds and I just love it. You like to look at Judah and smile at him. He says "Hi Paisley!" and you seem to really love it when he talks to you.

The last time you were weighed was on the 14th and you were 12lb. You are getting really chubby and I just love it. The clothing size that you wear is 3 months and diapers, size 1-2. We've started putting you down for your naps and at bedtime awake and you hardly fuss while you put yourself to sleep. At night, you still wake up once or twice to eat but, you go back to sleep right away. I feel that you are on your way to becoming a very good sleeper.

You bring so much joy to our lives and I'm so thankful you're part of our family. You are our Sweet Pea and we love you!!!


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Stockings

This is the first year that Judah is actually able to enjoy anything about Christmas. I wouldn't say that he understands it yet but, he does think the Christmas tree is pretty, he loves looking at Christmas lights and I'm sure he'll love opening presents. We've talked a little about Christmas being Jesus's Birthday and I know he doesn't understand it but, it still feels like it's the right thing to do.

We've also mentioned Santa Claus. In my family, we never "believed" in Santa. I knew the presents were from my parents and that Santa was a fun pretend thing. However, it was very different in my husbands family. He believed in Santa when he was little. They left cookies out for Santa and carrots for the reindeer.

I don't think either family was necessarily "right" or "wrong" with the whole Santa Claus thing. I think it's just important to really know the true meaning of Christmas and as long as Judah knows that, then I'm just fine with him believing in Santa, I'll even encourage it. :)

So anyway...since this is his first year enjoying Christmas, I decided to have Judah & Paisley's names put on their stockings. I think they turned out SO cute and next year I'm going to have mine and my husband's done as well.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Candy Cane Cookies

Candy Cane cookies are a cookie that my husband grew up with. I think it was one of those recipes that his mom often made during the Christmas season. I made them with her once and I thought they were good. Not anything totally amazing but, good. Well the other day, Jeremiah mentioned that he'd like to have some candy cane cookies so, yesterday Judah and I made some. We had so much fun. I sat him in his highchair with his Christmas bib and he dumped everything into the bowl for me. He says "I'll dump it in!".



While I rolled the dough out to make the cookies, I let Judah have a small amount to play with. We were listening to Chris Tomlin's Christmas music and after the song ended, Judah clapped and said "Good song!". He just cracks me up!


Here they are, right out of the oven. I think they actually turned out pretty cute. They were super easy and I only made half of the recipe so, we don't have too many in our house, waiting to be eaten.
After dinner Judah had one and I think he liked "Christmas Cookies!"
Candy Cane Cookies

Mix together:
1/2 c. butter, softened
1/2 c. shortening
1 c. powdered sugar
1 egg
2 tsp. almond extract
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. salt
Blend in 2 1/2 c. flour.
Divide dough in half and stir 1/2 tsp. red food coloring into one half.
Shape 1 tsp of each dough into a 4 inch rope. Place a rope of white dough and a rope of red dough side by side, press together lightly and twist. Curve top down to form candy cane shape.
Bake 7-9 min. at 375 and remove from cookie sheet immediately.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Christmas Tradition- The Lights of Christmas

Last weekend we headed out to the Lights of Christmas with Judah and Paisley. As a couple, we've been many times before but, this time it almost felt like it was my first time. Seeing Judah's excitement about everything was the highlight of my evening. Of course, the doughnuts were beyond amazing and the lights were incredible but, Judah was so into it and I loved that.

Paisley was warm and cozy in the Moby, she slept almost the entire time.
The next morning when Judah woke up, he went to the door and said "Lights of Christmas???". I think he really wants to go back.
There's a baby under that scarf.....

This picture isn't related to the lights but, I had to post it. My little Sweet Pea has become such a happy and smiley baby lately. I find myself spending so much time just sitting with her and acting like a total goof, just to get these little smiles out of her.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Happy pictures

Lately life has seems complicated. There are just a bunch of little things that are going on that make things seem hard. One of which is our two dogs that have decided that digging under the fence and escaping is a fun idea. I don't exactly enjoy packing Judah and Paisley up just to drive around our neighborhood to find Rosie and Fritz, the dogs and I've been doing that all too often lately. It's embarrassing, irresponsible and it just can't keep happening.

So, when things get hard, I often don't blog because if I do blog, I'll just be a big whiner. I have fun things to blog about though so, hopefully I'll get the time soon and make it more of a priority.
In the meantime, here are some recent pictures that are making me smile.
Paisley has been smiling up a storm and it's hard to catch it on camera but, this evening, I caught part of her smile. I love it!
Also, can I just brag and say that I think this little girl is getting so strong? I can't believe she can hold her head up like this already!
Here is a picture of an ornament that my mom bought for Judah when we were in Leavenworth 2 summers ago. One of the most fun things about decorating the tree is bringing out all the ornaments that have special meanings. I want to start a tradition of getting Judah and Paisley a new ornament each year and writing their name and the year on it. I think it'll be neat to have all the ornaments from each year for them and someday when they have their own homes (a very, very, long time from now!), they can have their ornaments that we've bought over the years.
Now, here is a picture that really makes me smile. My mom, with her 5 desserts on Thanksgiving. We had Thanksgiving at our house and it was really fun. Watching my mom pile her plate full of just dessert and enjoy it made me happy. She is so thin and fit so, I'm giving myself permission to blog about this.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy 1 month, Paisley Rae

Yesterday Paisley was 1 month old! Happy 1 month, little girl! She is such a joy in our lives and it really feels like we are adjusting well to being a family of 4.
Sleeping
We start bedtime for Paisley at 7pm. Judah and Jeremiah hangout with us as she gets changed into her jammies and swaddled up in her blanket. Then I feed her in our room and she goes to bed. She sleeps for about 4 or 5 hours straight and then wakes up to eat. She wakes up to eat every couple hours after that and starts her day at 7am. She still sleeps in the bassinet in our room. We moved Judah into his own room around 6 weeks but, I'm not sure how long Paisley will be in our room. I guess we'll just have to see what feels right.


Eating
Paisley nurses every 2.5-3 hours during the day. If she's napping, I wake her up to eat. She is doing great nursing!

Personality
I feel like Paisley is starting to be a little more content. She has some happy awake time during the day but, she still is pretty fussy in the evening. She takes a pacifier and that really calms her down. It's handy right now but, I worry about it becoming too big of a habit. Also, she likes to look at Judah and watch her mobile.

New things
Paisley has been smiling at us!!! She has smiled at me a good number of times and she's also smiled at Judah and Jeremiah. Her smile is absolutely the most adorable thing and it makes me so happy.

She is so precious and I'm so thankful she's part of our family!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Judah's 1st snow day

This morning, while we were eating breakfast, it started to snow. I was so excited! Judah hasn't experienced snow and I've been hoping that this would be the year where we'd get to play in the snow for the first time together. I picked him up, took him to the window and showed him the snow. He was amazed and said "WOW! Pretty snow!".

As soon as Paisley went down for her nap, I bundled him up, threw my jacket on and double checked that the baby monitor was working, in case she woke up. It was absolutely freezing outside but, we had a great time playing. I love that he had his first snow experience today and that he even learned how to knock snow off his mittens. It's the little things like learning how to brush snow off the mittens or push snow down a slide that make snow days so fun.


Of course I need to throw a picture of Paisley in this post. Here she is, laying on the floor with Judah.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Today

Today was one of those days. It started out really well and then the afternoon got tough. When Paisley gets over-tired, getting her to sleep is so hard. I never knew it could be so hard to get a newborn to nap during the day. She's sleeping pretty well at night but, during the day, I can't let her be awake for too long or everything goes down hill pretty fast. She won't nap and she gets so sad and grumpy.

She got over tired this afternoon because a well meaning neighbor stopped by when she was almost asleep. The sweet lady came in and insisted on sitting and holding her. Paisley was happy but, didn't go to sleep. Time went by and before you know it, the babe had been awake for almost 3 hours, which is way too long for her. So, it just spirals down from there....grumpy baby that won't nap, grumpy mommy and a toddler that is being disobedient because he knows that mommy isn't able to give him full attention.

Anyway, we survived and both Judah & Paisley were in bed on time. It feels so good to sit down and just do nothing!

On a positive note, I feel like I'm really beginning to get used to being the mother of 2 small children. We are getting into a bit of a routine and it feels great.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Judah's shadow

The other day, Judah was playing in the kitchen with his train. The sun was shining perfectly on him and his shadow looked so precious to me.

I love how I can even see his eye lashes in this last picture.


Having Paisley has made Judah seem so much older to me. He's still young but, it's been hard to realize how much he's changed, in less than 2 years. I can't believe that he was just a little baby, like Paisley, not very long ago. It's true, when you have children, life starts going by way too quickly!

Cousin pictures

Today we took my sister and her family dinner because they had their new baby just 3 days ago! While we were there, we took pictures of the cousins. I love this one of Judah and Noah looking at their tiny siblings.
Paisley, 3 weeks old. Levi, 3 days old.
Judah was 5 weeks old here and Noah was 2 days. They sure have grown!


Friday, November 5, 2010

Who she is....

Personality
Right now, I like to describe Paisley's personality as spunky. She's obviously not as laid back as Judah and it's ok! Everybody is different. She isn't terribly fussy but, she does get frustrated and when she gets tired, she gets grumpy. She likes to look at our faces and she likes to lay in Judah's crib and listen to us talk while I change his diaper.


Sleep
The girl needs her rest and sometimes she fights it! During the day, I have her nursing every 2.5-3hrs, then she's awake for a little while and then she gets tired. She has a little bit of a hard time settling into a deep sleep but, once she does, she takes a good nap. I've tried to shorten her awake time to make sure she's not getting over stimulated.


For night time sleep, I think she's doing pretty well! Last night she slept from 8:30pm until 1:30 (5hrs!) and then she was up every couple hours after that. The first night after she was born, she wouldn't settle down to sleep until about 1am. This didn't really surprise me because she was very active in my tummy during the evenings while I was pregnant. Each night since she was born, we've managed to get her down to bed a little earlier so, I'm happy. Judah is in bed by 8pm and we've been getting her to bed right after him and it's working. Soon, it'll probably be earlier but, I feel like we're on track.


Eating
Paisley is a great nurser! During the day, I often have to wake her for her feedings but, she's been gaining weight well and she has tons of wet and dirty diapers. I actually can't believe how many newborn diapers we're going through! She was born at 8lb, 8oz and when she was 10 days old, she weighed 8lb, 15oz. She takes her sweet time eating and I remind myself that it'll get faster. Sometimes Judah and I watch Barney or Mickey Mouse while I feed her to help keep him occupied. Other times I read him books or he just plays, doing his own thing.


How Judah is doing
Judah loves Paisley. He is learning how to be gentle and he doesn't really have it figured out yet. Sometimes he touches her really softly, other times, he just grabs her and it's so frustrating. I have to watch him so closely when he's around her because he moves so fast and he just wants to love on her. The bottom line is that he really does seem to like having her in our family and that makes us so happy!


Here they are before church today:



Paisley Rae's Birth Story

Saturday, October 23rd, I was 6 days over due. I woke up at 4:30am to use the bathroom and couldn't seem to fall back asleep. After laying there for about 15 minutes, I realized that I was having some light contractions, about 7 minutes apart. I waited for awhile before waking Jeremiah up to make sure that I just wasn't imagining the contractions. Indeed, it was real. Hooray! I was actually in labor!!!

I woke Jeremiah and told him that I thought something was definitely happening. We got up, had some coffee and some breakfast. While I ate my Cheerios, the contractions started getting more intense and closer together. I called my midwife about 5:30am and told her I was in labor. She was excited and warned me not to wait at home too long because she knew how fast my labor with Judah was. I told her I wanted to take a shower and get ready and then we'd head off to the hospital. I called my mom, told her to head on over to our house (to be with Judah) and then got in the shower. Contractions increased and got more painful. I got ready and I could tell that we really needed to leave the house soon.

We left the house about 6:45am and got to the hospital slightly after 7am. The drive there wasn't very comfortable but, it seemed to go fast (maybe that's because Jeremiah did go fast!). My sister was also on her way to the hospital to support me during labor. My midwife, Natalie told the front desk that they didn't need to monitor me in triage because she knew that they'd be keeping me. So, they went ahead and took us to our room. Natalie met us in the room and told the nurse that she didn't need to prep me for an IV, I loved that! I can't stand IV's, they totally gross me out and I didn't want ANYTHING being placed on me or in my veins. Yuck.

About 8am, I finally got into the jacuzzi tub. I worked through contractions in there with towels on me and Jeremiah and Sally in the room. They brought me tons of water to drink and a Bakers cookie to eat. If you know me really well, you know that I have a thing for Baker's Cookies, it's quite ridiculous. The nurse only came in to monitor Paisley's heart beat about every 15 minutes and each time, it showed that she was handling the contractions just great! Contractions were very close together and it was very intense. At one point, Jeremiah turned some music on and we listened to "Lifesong" by Casting Crowns. Going through a contraction while listening to that song was really emotional, in a good way. It made me cry and it was such a special moment.

At 8:50am, I told the nurse that it felt like the babies head was basically between my legs. She ran to have Natalie check me and sure enough, I was fully dilated! I remember saying "Thank God!!". It had been so intense that I'm glad I progressed fast. I got on the bed and pushed for 3 contractions and then Paisley Rae was born at 9am!!!! 8lb, 8oz and 18.5 inches long.

She is perfect and so healthy. Jeremiah, Judah and I are totally amazed by her.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm back!

The last week has been one of the most amazing and hard weeks I think I've ever had. I gave birth to our amazing little girl on Saturday, October 23rd and she is just precious and perfect. I will be blogging all the details about her soon. Then on Sunday, the 24th, a MOPS friend lost one of her amazing daughters to SIDS. It's been so emotional to be experiencing such joy over our new daughter and then such extreme sadness for my friend. When I sit and nurse Paisley at night, I can't stop thinking about the grief this other mom is experiencing and it just makes me cry.

It's also been really emotional to have my attention divided between Judah and Paisley. Jeremiah was home with us all last week so, Judah got used to "Daddy" helping him with everything while mommy takes care of the new baby. It was super helpful to have Jeremiah home but, really emotional for me when Judah started wanting Daddy to do everything with him. I've felt so bad, like he feels I've abandoned him.

It's a new week though! Jeremiah is back at work and Judah is starting to spend good time with me again. I feel like I'm beginning to get into somewhat of a routine with both kids and it feels good. It's amazing how a person can experience such joy and sadness at the same time.

I've thought about blogging a lot lately but, I've felt like I have writers block. I don't know how that could be since I have a 1000 things I could blog about. I think it's just that there have been too many emotions.

It's a new month now and I'm happy to be back. I'm starting to feel a little more like myself and it feels good!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Quality time with my boy

Today Judah and I didn't do a lot. We woke up, hung out, went to the store and as we pulled into the driveway, I told him we could have left over Macaroni & Cheese for lunch. Of course, as soon as we came inside, I needed to use the bathroom. When I came out, he was quietly sitting on the kitchen floor with the bowl of Macaroni (that had been in the refrigerator) between his legs. Nothing was spilled and there was no mess. It just cracked me up that he was sitting there with his Macaroni. Of course, I'm not a big fan of him helping himself to things in the fridge but, he didn't get in trouble this time, he got his picture taken instead.

He took a long nap this afternoon and when he woke up, we went outside for a walk. I put him in the stroller and walked 45minutes. If this little girl is ready to come see us, that should help her get moving. She's a girl and she's fashionably late.

Tonight, Jeremiah and I took more time with Judah than normal at bedtime. We read a few more books than we usually do and I sang him more songs than normal. It's weird putting him to bed and wondering if it's the last time that we'll be doing bedtime with him, without the new baby. I enjoyed the quiet day that we had together, it was special and just what we needed before this big transition.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The 19th

Today is the 19th and that makes me 2 days over due. I actually feel pretty comfortable but, I just keep wondering when little baby will be ready to come out. I have a friend that is 31 weeks pregnant and her water just broke and her baby will be spending a couple months in the NICU when it arrives. It really puts things into prospective for me. I would so rather be over-due and have a fat and happy baby than have a baby that's 9 weeks early. Please..... say a prayer for that girl and her family, it must be so scary to know you're about to deliver a baby so early.

This was us exactly 21 months ago. Yep, Judah is 21 months today. Maybe this little one will decide that the 19th is a good day, like her big brother did. Obviously, I'm white as a ghost in this picture but, who really has color in their face after pushing out a big baby without any meds? I just remember this moment so well and it was perfect.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Pumpkin Patch

Yesterday we visited the pumpkin patch and it was so much fun. The highlights were definitely the free tractor rides and train rides. Well, it was actually a bunch of little train cars being pulled behind a tractor. Judah currently has an obsession with tractors and trains so, it was such a thrill for him to go on these rides.



While we were there, Sally and I had our husbands take some pictures of us together. We took lots of pictures together when we were pregnant with the boys so, we're trying to get pictures the second time around also, even if it's more difficult this time because we are busy with our boys!

Can you see the pumpkin I'm hiding behind my tummy? Yep, I can hardly see it either!

My sweet boy.....soon to be the best big brother!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

A big fuss, most likely over nothing

Over the last month, when I've gone to see my midwife, my tummy hasn't been growing at the normal rate. It actually measured about the same size for 3 weeks. So, last Wednesday, I went for an ultrasound to see how baby is doing. She measured really tiny, in the 5th percentile and about 6lb. This alarmed my midwife (and me!) so, they sent me for a non-stress test at the hospital. She passed the NST with flying colors. My midwife said that she wanted me to closely pay attention to baby's movements to make sure they don't decrease and then come back for another NST on Saturday.

I went home and I was really scared, confused and nervous. I didn't understand why she would be small. I've had a really healthy pregnancy, Judah was huge when he was born, I was a normal size when I was born and it just didn't make sense. I started praying for little girl and I know other people were praying as well.

Saturday I went for the next NST and she did great. They want to see the baby's heart rate increase when she moves around and she was moving a ton and her heart rate did fabulously.
Monday they had me come in for another ultrasound and another NST. The ultrasound turned out better that time. She measured in the 33 percentile and about 7lb. Good news but, still confusing as to why she was so small just 5 days prior.

Wednesday (yesterday) they had me come in for another NST and another ultrasound. Of course, the NST went great and the ultrasound went really well also. She measured 8lb, 4oz and in the 65th percentile. The 3 midwives I see are totally confused. They are happy that she seems like a normal, healthy baby but, it doesn't make sense why she appeared so tiny just one week ago. They even had a radiologist go back over all the images and he said that they were correct. Maybe the 1st ultrasound was wrong or maybe God just put some fat on her bones! Who knows!!

Long story short......I have much more peace of mind now than I did a week ago. Baby is most likely just fine and because we've had 2 ultrasounds lately with good results, I don't need to keep going back in for all those tests. I've heard a lot of stories about how ultrasounds can be very wrong in determining the size of a baby and I really believe that. Even the midwife said that they can be way off. I'm just thankful that they didn't decide to induce me last week when it seemed like baby wasn't growing.

Now, I'm just putting all the worries behind me and I'm excited for this girl to join our family!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sunday wrap up & 39 weeks

Today we all over slept so, we missed church. When we finally got up and got going, we headed out to meet my sister and her family for a late breakfast at Ihop. It was super busy in there but, we had a lot of fun and the boys did great. After breakfast, Jeremiah, Judah and I went and did our monthly grocery shopping trip.

This afternoon, I went on a walk by myself. It was the most beautiful day and it was so nice to be out walking in the sun. I took some pictures of my shadow with my cell phone. I remember when I was little, I always thought my shadow was interesting. Today, it just looked funny.
My view looking down at 39 weeks:

I haven't blogged as much lately because I've been "over thinking" what I want to write. I need to get back to the reason why I started blogging. I want to remember and document our everyday life. So, as I go into this next season of becoming a mother of 2, I'm going to try to not over think it or worry about what people might think of me and I'm just going to blog our normal life. It might just be little details about how baby girl is sleeping or eating.....I just want to be able to go back and see what life was like. So, no more over thinking for me!

Here's to the normal and small details that we need to remember. :)

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