Monday, January 25, 2010

Attachment....detachment...what??

When I was pregnant with Judah, I had no idea how passionate some women are about certain parenting styles. I quickly figured this out though. I was given a couple parenting books by some good friends. I read them and then I naively went to discuss these different parenting styles with other moms. I was so open and honest about the different schedules and parenting styles that were discussed in these books. I had no idea that some people really did not agree on such a thing and that moms got so fired up when these things were discussed. It was like politics but, almost worse because nothing is more precious to a mom than her children. Now I've learned that I need to be careful when I ask a parenting question to a group of moms because I'll get so many different answers and opinions. All the different opinions on mothering were very confusing to me at first. I wanted to do everything right and talk about naps, nursing, sleep schedules, or no sleep schedule with other moms but, it can be difficult.

To me, it doesn't matter that everyone parents differently. There is no way that all families could be the same. God didn't design it to be that way. All children are not the same. Actually, no child is the same as another. I don't think it matters that everyone doesn't mother the same way, I just think moms should be able to AGREE to DISAGREE.

I know families that are rigid schedulers, everything must be by the book. I also know other families that are the typical attachment parenting families. They co-sleep, baby wear and demand nurse.

But, what am I? Well, I'd say for sure that I am neither and it works for us. I believe in natural birth without the use of medication. I found it extremely rewarding to naturally birth a 9lb 7oz baby. I gave birth in a hospital but, I have alot of respect for people that give birth at home. I can't wait to give birth naturally again! I also have alot of respect for all the mothers that end of needing c-sections and medicine. Everyone is different, there isn't just one way!

I also believe in breastfeeding, Judah is one and I'm still nursing him. I don't know when I'll stop and that is ok! I feel so blessed to have a husband that supports me nursing our son. I don't plan on nursing him much longer but, I have peace with the fact that he still nurses a couple times a day. But, if you didn't nurse your baby, I'm not going to stick my nose up at you! It's ok!

I also believe in having your baby and children on a schedule. The reason I believe in this is because it is what works for me. I am a scheduled and routine kind of a person. I thrive with consistency in my life. Therefor, it works for me to have Judah on a schedule. But, everyone isn't that way, and that is ok. Sometimes I wish I was more laid back and flexible.

Judah also sleeps in his crib, in his room and he's been sleeping through the night consistently for a long time. Some people co-sleep and that works for them. For me, that wouldn't work but, sometimes I do wish I could just pick him up and bring him into bed and snuggle with him. One thing that drives me nuts though is when people co-sleep for a few months or a year and then move their baby to a crib and wonder why they don't sleep through the night. Children need consistency. Of course they aren't just going to sleep through the night if they are used to sleeping next to their mom and dad. Can you blame them?

I'm not a true "baby wearer" but, I own a sling and I really want an Ergo Baby Carrier for our next baby. So, yeah.....I believe in natural birth, nursing, baby scheduling, wearing your baby when you want to, baby sleeping in his/her own space and loving and nurturing your children. Those things don't make me an attachment parent or a detached parent either. They just make me the mother that I am. Everyone parents differently and to me, it's ok as long as we are all loving and raising our children the way God wants us to.

2 comments:

  1. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

    Lucy

    http://businesseshome.net

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  2. I, too, was amazed at how "fired up" moms could get about parenting styles. In turn I've found myself getting more defensive about my parenting style than I ever expected I would be. You are right, different styles work for different moms and kids. And you are right, not every child is the same. All three of my kids have been very different in their needs.

    By the way, fun to discover you have a blog. Love it. So fun to have a place to put your thoughts about life (and parenting). You'll be so grateful for it in years to come as you look back.

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Thank you for your comments. I read every single one of them and they always make me smile.

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