Do you ever have one of those moments where you or your child's imperfection is totally exposed to everyone around you? Well, that was me today at church.
We got to church, Judah went into the nursery just fine. Everything was normal and going smoothly but, Paisley started getting restless. She had fallen asleep in the car on the way to church for literally 3 minutes so, she was still tired but, I couldn't get her to go back to sleep. I stood in the back of the church bouncing her with the hope she'd node off and then I'd be able to sit down and listen to the sermon. She just got more restless and I could tell she was hungry.
I headed to the nursery to feed her. Our nursery is divided into two sections with a clear divider. One is for tiny babies and one for little toddlers. I sat down in the rocker on the baby side. Of course Judah, who was on the other side wanted to come be with me so, I said he could come to the other side of the divider but, he couldn't start going back and forth.
He came over where I was and the other kids starting getting restless because they wanted out also. I felt bad to be disrupting the calm atmosphere in there but, it just got worse. As I was feeding Paisley, I was trying to read Judah a book. The book had a car permanently attached to it with a plastic chain. Judah wanted the car to come off and that just wasn't possible. The melt down started. Oh there were tears....and I was nursing so, my hands were full. I tried ignoring the tantrum. I tried distracting with other toys but, it just continued.
Eventually, he went crying back over to the other side with the bigger kids. Now more kids were getting upset and we had really started to cause a scene. I fished feeding Paisley and decided I'd just go onto the other side with Judah and hangout there until church was over. He still didn't stop crying and then Paisley started crying also because all the other kids were trying to play with her and she got overwhelmed. I looked at the nursery worker and said "Can you just page Jeremiah? I want to go home." Jeremiah came and got Judah and we left church a little early.
Today I was literally almost crying (with Judah) when we left church but looking back now, it's times like these I'm thankful that the other moms around me aren't judgemental, at least I hope they aren't. I've seen plenty of children having a meltdown and I think it happens to the best of mom and kids.
Note to self: Don't go feed Paisley in the nursery again as long as Judah is in there.