Here I am with Judah, moments after I became a mommy for the first time. He was big, healthy and the birth experience was everything that I had hoped and planned for. He was amazing and he still is. When I met him for the first time, I knew I was head over heels in love. Little did I know what was ahead. I knew I'd love my kids but, I didn't know what it really feels like to love your kids.
21 months later, I became a mommy again. Again the birth experience was amazing and this time we were blessed with a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Judah came out and hardly cried, Paisley came out and notified the world that she had arrived. Both of their entrances to the world are true to their current personalities. When she was born, again I was totally in love. I didn't really understand how you can love two children equally and I couldn't imagine that I'd love someone the same way that I love Judah but, it happened and it was so easy and so natural.
Mothering has stretched me like I never imagined it would. I knew it would be hard but, I thought I knew a lot about being a mother. I guess I did know more than some people know before they actually experience motherhood but, it's way harder that I thought it would be. Spilled milk makes me want to cry. Especially when the milk is spilled on purpose and when the spiller is sitting there, smiling at you, while dumping it into his lap. The messes are never ending and the questions of "how do I handle this situation best" are always on my mind. Motherhood is stink'n awesome but, it's also freak'n hard. Just being real!
Today has been one of those days where I thought I might just pull my hair out but, writing this post has helped me feel way better. Going back and looking at pictures from when the kids were first born brings me out of the moment and shifts my perspective a little. I'm so thankful for these precious children, even if they do make me want to cry sometimes!