Friday, September 14, 2012

It Was Me That Cried Through Bedtime

Maybe it was the 12 hours of parenting solo, it was the first trimester fatigue or it was the lack of adult conversation that I'd been craving but, last night during bedtime, I lost it. I'd asked him not to run for what seemed like the 100th time but, he took off running anyway and his milk went squirting out of his cup, all over the carpets and all over his sister's dresser.

As I told him to sit down on the chair and not get up, I scrubbed the milk and the tears started to fall. They fell through story time, they fell while I brushed teeth and I sang songs with a cranky voice as they continued to fall, turning my face into a big, red mess.

When the hubby was finally off work, I sat on the couch in a silent house and cried my eyes out some more, saying that "I'm just sure that I'm sucking at everything". Yes, everything. You name it, and I was sure that I sucked at it.

I flopped into bed last night and the song "Forever Reign" started running through my head. It goes:

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin


You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting

Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign


You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go


Oh, I'm running to your arms 
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign


My heart will sing
no other name
Jesus, Jesus


Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign


This morning, the air is crispy and my coffee is hot. I'm back to realizing that I really don't suck at everything and that when I'm tired, my perception of reality is totally off. 

I share my teary bedtime because if you're a mommy, I'm guessing that maybe you've experienced something similar and I want you to know that it's not just you. The good news is that today is a new day and there isn't any reason why this day won't totally rock!

Happy Friday!
Angela 

2 comments:

  1. yep, that was me at bedtime last evening. grumpy people all around me, tears in my throat.... thanks for sharing. I love new days and words of encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep, bedtimes can be hard for Mommy too.
    And His mercies are new every morning.

    ReplyDelete

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