Monday, August 19, 2013

A Blogging Break

Sitting down with my jar of water, and a few bits of extra dark chocolate to write this post. This one is going to be hard, but sometimes hard is needed and this is where I'm at right now. So settle in with me here and hopefully this will make a little bit of sense....

I've been blogging for almost the entire time I've been a Mom. When Judah was just 4 months old, I started this blog, without any intentions or any idea on how great this creative outlet would be for me. With a happy baby (just ONE baby and not 3, holy moly!), I had no idea that as a Mom who stays home with her kids, having something that was for me, and just me, would be really important. When I started this blog, all I knew is that I wanted to have a space to document our daily life. To share our sweet, ordinary moments with pictures and words, not necessarily for anyone else, but for my own memory and for my family.

I love writing so much, I love the feeling of my fingers flying over the keyboard, when the words are flowing easily and the freeing feeling that comes after my thoughts are out. I love a good transparent post, that's received with comments, showing me that I'm not the only one, and that we all have our "thing" and that in the midst of our "things" and our failures, God is SO big and SO much bigger us.

Sharing recipes and sharing our daily adventures is so fun and such a great way to preserve our memories since I'm not a scrapbooker, but in the midst of it all, I've been feeling called to take a break.
See, blogging also comes with a lot of discouragement, loads and loads, if I'm going to be honest. Ouch. Writing those words flat out sucks, you guys. Somewhere along the line, I've started to feel like part of my worth depends on how many people read my blog, if my words matter, if you like the recipe that I post and so on.

And you know what? As long as my blog has anything to do with my worth, I'll never be enough. They'll always be someone who writes better, who takes better photos, who creates better recipes. I'm me and I'm learning that I'M enough, but I still struggle in this area. So for now, I'm taking a blogging break.

How long of a break am I taking? Well, I don't know. It might be a week, a month or just a few days. I'm on a break until I feel like my blog has nothing to do with who I am, but that my worth is only defined by HIM, the one who created me. I'll blog again when I feel comfortable writing for myself, and not for anyone else. I was created to write what's on my heart and to share transparently, but I can't do that when I'm worring about who's reading and what they think.

Here's the thing you guys---everyone has a story and we're meant to tell our story and encourage each other, but when we're doing it with fear or the wrong intentions, then we're not doing it right. There's a season for sharing our story and right now, my season is to dig in deep with my family. To look into those little eyes and realize that who I am is enough. To be kind and to remember that the little things I do at home matter.

Blogging will happen, I think it's part of me, but for now, I'm signing off. It's hard, so hard, to let go of something that I really want to hold onto. God's been telling me though, that I need to give it to Him and then when I let it go, He'll give it back to me, that is, when I'm ready for it.

Wrapping this up is hard, remember I don't do goodbyes? Well, I guess it's alright because I know this isn't goodbye. I'll write again, hopefully with much more peace and with much more of a clear picture from God on what He wants me to share. For now, we'll continue our adventures and I'll have more time to read and do important things like watch Duck Dynasty with my husband (ha!). And if you blog or you're thinking about starting your own place to share your story, please don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't be discouraged if no one reads, just press on and be who you are---you are enough!

Lots of love.
Angela

And of course, I'm wrapping this up with the best thing I've read lately: Simple Mom- On Curing Cancer and Changing Diapers. I loved that post.

8 comments:

  1. Angela - This post hits close to home. Blogging is a wonderful outlet for creativity and writing, but it also takes time. When you add a 15 hour a week part time job (me) or another baby (you), it's hard to remember that we are logging those hours once reserved for blogging elsewhere in our lives - like baby cuddling, which is SO important! To add a new responsibility to life and keep blogging at your old pace is like trying to squeeze 28 hours into a 24 hour day. No wonder we feel stressed!

    It's so very easy to get caught up in readership and pageviews - I struggle with that. But breaks from all things in life are healthy and are often followed by rejuvination!!! When I pull away from blogging, I find I am more patient with my kids and can slow down and enjoy all of the time away from the computer.

    I wish you rest on your break and all the success in whatever you do! Thanks for this honest post :)

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  2. I'm definitely going to miss your blog until you return. Have enjoyed following your family's adventures, even tho my GRAND children are older than your three!

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  3. Hey Angela! I just wanted to say I appreciate your honesty, and I am always a fan of taking a break or resting when it's needed. Personally with my blog, I know I could be writing more consistently or doing things to market more efficiently, but I just made the decision that it isn't about numbers for me. I just want to write when I feel the inspiration and hope that it will be a blessing or a benefit to whoever is supposed to read it, even if I don't see it in my stats. So I totally relate to that pressure of finding a balance! I'm sure you're doing the right thing and you'll know when the time comes to rejoin the blogging world!

    Blessings to you in your season of rest! <3

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  4. this is a wise, honest and inspiring message. Thank you for hearing that still small voice. I believe we are intended to take seasons of rest..to withdraw for a time to gain new strength and vision. I pray that will be your reward!

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  5. I heard something interesting the other day. Someone said if you walked into a room and saw your little one holding a knife by the wrong end, what would you do as a loving mother? You wouldn't rip it out of their hand, because it would cause great harm, but you would gently ask them to open their hand and give you the knife. The parallel was that God does this with us as well. He lovingly asks us to hand over things to Him that we might not be handling quite right at the moment. I would add to those thoughts, though. I believe that in your case, He won't just take it away, but He will hand it back to you right side up. I hope that encourages you as you have encouraged me. I am always uplifted when I hear of someone trying to shed more of themselves to be fully clothed in Him.

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  6. I'll miss ya, but I TOTALLY understand! I've been there and I imagine with the baby coming, I'll be there again soon! :)

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  7. defined by Him....

    I love that this is your heart and your desire!

    Praying for you.
    I'll miss you my bloggy friend.
    See you soon I hope!

    Janiene

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  8. Amen! I completely understand this and constantly remind myself that I blog for me and my family. It flat out doesn't matter what everyone else things because I love my life, my family, and my little space. :) Best wishes. Can't wait to read what you've learned.

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Thank you for your comments. I read every single one of them and they always make me smile.

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