Tonight I had the privilege of going to see a dear friend and her new baby, who's spending a few weeks in the NICU. She had her baby at just under 34 weeks and at 4lb, this baby is tiny and perfectly beautiful. Her Momma is beautiful, too. She spends all day with her tiny baby, holding her, feeding her and day after day, being torn between responsibilities at home and her new baby in the hospital.
Something comes over me whenever I'm in a Labor and Delivery department. For a few years now, I've wanted to study to become a doula and as my heart beats faster when I walk through those hospital doors, I know that I can't push those feelings down much longer. Pregnancy, newborns and new Mommas have a special place in my heart and I feel like God has been planting some seeds in me that are really wanting to grow.
I think that as a Momma, sometimes it's harder to recognize our dreams because Motherhood makes dreaming a bit more tricky. We want to do what's best for our families, while still maintaining who we are and following after our dreams. For me, I want to be home with my children almost all of the time and have this be my main job, but I also want to pay attention to those things that stir me up inside and those goals and desires that are always there. When there's something that you just can't let go, you have to recognize that it must be there for a reason.
So, tonight I'm thankful for a big God that plants dreaming seeds in us, even if He doesn't give us a clear WHEN. I'm thankful for friends who watch my kids while I go see a new baby. I'm thankful for NICU nurses who pour out themselves for those precious, tiny lives. I'm thankful for a 4 year old boy who climbs onto my lap and promises me that he'll still hug and kiss me, even when he's taller than me. I'm thankful for my baby, for the way she smells and for her chubby hands that are learning to wave. I'm thankful for a spunky 3 year old, who's the best big sister ever. And, I'm thankful for a husband that listens to me, supports me and loves me even when I'm a real handful.