Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Stream of Consciousness

Summer hasn't been exactly what I expected it to be. When June came and we picked Judah up from his last day at preschool, I pictured long mornings on the beach, days in the pool with my kids, afternoons with homemade popsicles and long, slow days. As a month and another month have gone by, it's felt anything but slow. When we flipped the page to August, I felt like I'd done it all wrong. I'm the girl who believes in living slow and simple. I wanted to apologize to myself for all of the time that we've spent on the go and vow to do it all different from here on out. I wanted a redo, but after thinking long and hard about all that's filled up our summer, I don't think I'd change any of it. The only thing I regret is maybe not handling an on-the-go season with more grace.

When August comes and it feels like the summer should have been done differently, we can either focus on what could have been or go forward with the best expectation for what's ahead...and maybe I have learned that I need to go into a season where I try to slow down a bit and make more time for things at home that have been neglected and when I say neglected, I don't really mean the house. The laundry is mostly done and things are clean enough. I'm missing time to do more than just the bare minimum. I miss taking photos with my DSLR, instead of just using my phone, while we're on the go. I miss creating things or cooking with the kids. Did you know that creativity is a habit and when you slip out of that habit, you can fool yourself into thinking that you're just not creative anymore? Actually, what you are is out of practice. It's a learned habit. You are creative, but it's all stuck inside. I miss doing more at home than just keeping it clean and kept up. And blueberries.....we haven't even picked blueberries. I miss blueberries. Something's gotta give.

In less than a month, Judah will be starting kindergarten. It's been a year long decision and our choice to send him to school hasn't come easily. For months and months, I prayed, cried and prayed.  More than anything, I just wanted to get it right. The Moms around me seem to be doing it all so beautifully and what made it hard, was that some of my most favorite friends are homeschooling with great success and then some of my other most favorite friends are having great success with public school. It was one of those situations that was SO hard because from the bottom of my heart, I truly believe that either option can be done well. I'm down the middle and so....I couldn't figure out which option would be best for US, when both seem fantastic to me, for very different reasons.

Finally, we decided on traditional kindergarten and for now, we have peace with that. And next year...well, who knows what will happen. All I know is that this has been the hardest decision for me as a Mama so far. Nothing has stumped me like this has. Nothing. The good news is that since we've decided on this (for now), the long season of decision making is over and now it's time to get fully on board. I'm ready to let go of the feelings of indecisiveness and more forward into a season of supporting him with this new experience. I think it's going to be really good and if it's not, well hey, you can always change your mind, right?

Changing the subject....

Last Sunday we went out an anniversary date, with the plan to hike Mt. Pilchuck. When we finally got to the trail head, we were kindly greeted by a police officer, who explained to us that there was a sketchy character up on the mountain with a gun or two way out in the open, making folks a bit uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. He said this was super unusual for that mountain and that he was on his way up to check it out.

Neither of us had a good feeling about it so, we decided to come up with a different plan. It's one thing to want to go on an adventure, but when you're possibly not safe, in my opinion, it's totally NOT WORTH IT. Like no way.

As we drove away, I was super thankful for that officer who had given us the warning, and also really annoyed that this person would be up on the mountain causing trouble and taking the fun away from people who just want to go out and have a nice time.

So, we drove a bit, did some exploring, went and ate Mexican food and then tried to take a nap in the sun, because that's what parents of 3 little kids do on a date. We try to sleep.  It wasn't our original plan and I would have rather dominated that mountain, but we were still together, without any interruptions and that's what matters.

Tonight we went to our little town's Night Out, put on by the local police department. Everyone from the fire department, to the local cupcake shop was there. We ate hot dogs, the kids danced with their balloons tied to their wrists, while live music played and it was all super fun. The highlight of the evening was for sure, the balloon lady. This sweet clown (that sounds so weird), took her time making exactly what each kid wanted. The line was crazy long and when it was finally Paisley's turn, she asked for a zebra. If it was me, I would have offered only swords or balloon hats, if they were extra sweet, but not this lady. With all the patience in the world, she took her time making Paisley the exact zebra that she dreamed of. And then she didn't even stop there, she busted out her Sharpie and drew on some stripes.

Balloon Lady, I don't know who you are, but you're so above and beyond. Tonight that Zebra proudly sits on our table and tomorrow I'll do my best to keep Eliza from biting it.

A few photos from life lately.
 Exploring on our date.....

 This was the lake we tried to take a nap by.
"Hi Clown---why yes, I think I'd like a zebra."
"Hahaha....why sure, little girl, I'll get right on that, while the other 20 people wait in line behind you."
 "Hmmmm....yes indeed, stripes are important. You can't have a zebra without stripes. Without stripes, it's basically just a white horse."
 Here you go!
And just like that, bam! Her day is made. BEST ZEBRA EVER.



  1. this is beautiful..congratulations on your decision!!!

  2. The kindergarten decision isn't one I realized you were struggling with. There is something so wonderful once the decision is made. I know that he'll do fabulous!

  3. Oh man, what a memorable date! And good for you for making a decision for Judah. Good grief, I feel you pain : ) I feel so unintentional this summer, like we are all just along for the ride and the weeks are flipping through faster than I can even notice. Cheers to a slower month!

  4. Cheers!! Here's to a slower month and being more intentional in September. We can do it!

  5. Thank you. I know he will also! It was SUCH a struggle to decide and I'm so glad we've finally decided.


Thank you for your comments. I read every single one of them and they always make me smile.


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