It was the night before kindergarten that I fell apart. I know this decision to send him this year to public school is RIGHT, but that doesn't mean it's EASY. There's nothing that I find easy about it and it's funny too because, I'm pretty sure that I'm blessed to feel this way.
I'm thankful to be one of those Moms who actually enjoys being around her kids. I'd rather cry while placing that special little treat in his lunch box, double checking that his name is on everything and writing little "I LOVE YOU" notes and taping them where he'll see them, than be jumping for joy that he's going to be gone.
It IS best, but that doesn't make it easy.
His first morning went really well......except for ONE BIG PROBLEM. We got ready, went out early, took a few photos and then headed to school. Together, we unloaded his bag, put his supplies away and then with his class, he headed out onto the playground, while I stuck around with Paisley and Eliza for a kindergarten parent orientation.
One thing I've learned over the past few days is that sometimes there's something funny that comes over younger siblings when they see their older brother or sister go off to school. They start acting out---- Big-time jealousy happens, but they can't really put that into words so, they get all wacko and spazzy and wacko and spazzy are exactly what happened to Paisley, during the orientation.
While I tried to listen to the Principle speak, learn the procedures from the school nurse and sit quietly like every other adult in the room, Paisley got crazy. She wiggled, flopped, stomped and finally we retreated to the hallway, where I was hoping to be LESS of a distraction, but still hear anything vital for a successful school year.
As I listened, Paisley went around the corner and right there at her level was a red switch, just begging to be pulled. She didn't know what it was and I didn't know it was there and you guessed it-----Paisley pulled the fire alarm.
Moments later, the entire school was standing on the playground. As I stood there with my girls, I silently wondered if Paisley was possibly the one that had caused all of this and then I just couldn't believe that on our FIRST day of Kindergarten, my 3 year old had possibly just evacuated the ENTIRE school. Was this REALLY happening?
It wasn't long until I quickly hugged Judah goodbye and as I loaded the kids into the car, Paisley confessed that she had pulled the switch and that she was so sorry.
She wasn't in trouble, she didn't know. You better believe me though, when I say I'll be watching her with an Eagle eye next time we go near one of those switches.
I can't believe it was us.
I didn't have time to cry yesterday. The fire drill that Paisley caused was enough to practically send me to the tavern at noon....just kidding, sort of.
Life this summer has sort of all been like this. Nothing is easy right now, but that doesn't mean that it's not right. For me, it IS right to have 3 little kids and stay home with them. Easy? Not one bit.
Kindergarten? Hard, especially when Eliza walks around, calling out Judah's name, but is it right for us? Yes.
Taking all the kids places and being involved with miscellaneous ministries, friends and normal life? None of that is easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Today as I walked Judah to his room with his sisters, Paisley tried to hold his hand and he pulled away. Too cool in school I guess, and that makes me sad. It's a slower day around here, more quiet I guess you could say, with no one pulling the fire alarm and it's easier to miss him and feel the empty space that he normally fills.
It's so right for him to be there and his teacher is better than anything I could have imagined, but that doesn't mean it's easy. This pretty much sums it up:
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
And that friends, is where I'm at right now. There have been hard things like sending my first born off to kindergarten, while my 3 year old evacuates the school and still, I see how all of this is so worth it. We will learn how car lines work, learn that red levers don't get pulled, I'll make lunches, file papers, do homework, and before too long, we'll be experts. For now- we're just staying away from those red levers.
A few photos from the last few days: