She almost burst with enthusiasm, as she pulled her first preschool report card out of her folder. We were about to make lunch and she looked at me, asking if we could go over it together after she ate. Setting the bread to the side, I walked over to the couch, sat down in the sun and asked her to join me.
Lately, I’ve been trying to remove the phrases “in a moment” and “we’ll do it later” from my vocabulary. I’ve realized that when I say “in a moment”, I usually forget and when I say “we’ll do it later”, it often never gets done. Someday when I’m gone, I want my kids to remember me as the mom who did it then- not later or even worse, not at all.
And so, we settled into the couch together, while the peanut butter, honey and bread waited for us on the counter. Together we went through the report card, talking about her strengths and the areas she needs to work on.
As we flipped the page over, there in the comments section, was what I’ve always known about my free spirited, never-holds-still, wild child, who’s challenges me like none other and who’s filled with a heart of pure gold.
“She brings sunshine into any room she’s in. I’m so glad she’s in mine.”
All evening, I’ve been thinking about those words. Since the first time she wiggled in my tummy, she’s never held still. She falls off her chair about 5 times a day, she talks loud and she cries easily. Sometimes I’ve doubted that I could really be everything that she deserves to have in a Mom. I’ve questioned my patience and my anger. I’ve felt guilty and inadequate. From talking with close friends, I discovered that I’m not the only one who has ever felt this way about her daughters.......................